Calf Fries – No Fried Potatoes in This Recipe

Calf fries, also known as Rocky Mountain oysters, are made from either calf or turkey testicles. My guess is not many will actually try this recipe. But if you can get past the thought of eating testicles, and if you enjoy different types of traditional but unusual foods, and good food in general, then give calf fries a try.

Calf fries got their start from the cattle roundups of Texas, where cowboys castrated and branded the calves. They would throw the freshly severed testicles into the branding iron fire and when they cracked open, they would eat them like roasted chestnuts.

If you can find fresh testicles, they are as delicate and tasty as sweetbreads. Frozen ones are easier to find. 

Ingredients:

2 pounds of skinned calf or turkey testicles

Marinade

1/2 cup dry red wine

1/3 cup soy sauce

1/3 cup canola or corn oil

1/2 medium onion, chopped

juice of 1 lime

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/4 cup cornmeal

salt and ground black pepper to taste

Peanut oil for deep frying

Directions:

Thaw testicles if frozen, and slice them into medallions. Place them in a bowl and mix the marinade ingredients and pour them over the testicles. Marinate in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours.

Mix the flour, cornmeal, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Roll each testicle medallion in the mixture, and dip back in the marinade. Then roll it again in the flour.

Heat at least 3 inches of oil in a large pot or deep-fryer. When the temperature reaches 350 degrees Fahrenheit, Place the testicles into the oil, being careful not to splash yourself.

Cook the testicles just until they are golden brown and tender. Be careful not to overcook, as they will become tough.

If cooking these calf fries for guests, do not tell them what they are eating. They will never guess what they are eating, and it will probably be for the better, anyway.